A Joke (if you can call it that) (I didn't want to call it that anyway, for fear of giving it away)

Here's a true story. I'm no good at telling jokes so it might not be all that dramatic or funny.
In 1994 my grandfather was posted as Commandant at the Army Aviation Engineering School Dhamial Camp, Rawalpindi. He didn't like all the rubbish that everyone had thrown about all over the place, because he is a very neat person. He installed several large dustbins at suitable locations in the school and living quarters, especially near the kitchen and the mess hall. In a follow-up inspection visit, he saw that a lot of garbage had been dumped near the dustbins, but not in them, even though they'd been put there for that purpose. When he asked the kitchen staff why they hadn't thrown the garbage in the dustbins, they (probably shifted uncomfortably and) said: ''They're so pretty. They'd get dirty''.

Smells (I can't write this with a straight face :) hee hee hee)

This may seem weird, but I have a theory that everyone has their own characteristic smell. I guess it might also be influenced by their surroundings as well, like the smell of their house or whatever (homes probably have characteristic smells too!). I don't mean that the smell should necessarily be a bad one. It can usually be a good one. But now that I think of it, everyone probably has a characteristic nasty smell as well. This is a very weird sort of idea, right? But very little babies recognise their mother by her smell, because they can't see well. Hey, a rhyme! I'm not a little baby, so my sense of smell is not that good, but there are two smells I can recognise. The first is my grandfather's. He declares that he has a nasty smell, but I think it's quite pleasant. The other is my great - aunt's, my mother's aunt's. She smells rather nice too, and her house faintly smells the same. You can all laugh at my silliness, but I'm serious. And anyway, most of the reason I wrote this is because it's all I could think of, and I had nothing much to do except read "Pride and Prejudice", which I've already read before. So Sayonara everyone!

Book lovers

It seems to me like there aren't many book lovers outside my family. I mean, I'm sure there are, it's a huge world, but I just haven't met them yet. From my family, the people who are crazy about books, and I mean crazy, are me, of course, my mother, my lala (my aunt, my mother's sister. It's what we call her), my cousin Izma, and Hazo, who is my mother's cousin and Izma's cousin. I've got these people to thank for introducing me to different writers, and, in my mother's case, to introduce me to reading books. If anybody reading this is a book lover, please write a comment. I'd like to have a conversation with you. This could be an opportunity for me to meet people like me. Right? When I said I can't find many book lovers outside my family (it's really not like everyone loves books in my family anyway, I'm talking about a couple of my cousins) it's because at school, in my class, I'm different from everyone, in a way. I don't mean to brag, but, I bet I've read more books than anyone in my class. (I'm sorry if I sound too braggy everyone, especially my classmates). You know, there's a really good idea that my mother and my brothers and I found on somewhere called babble.com. You can make a spreadsheet with the number of books you have read, the name of the author, the title of the book, and the pages of the book. Write down all the story books or other kinds of books you have read and then you can see how many pages you've gone through. I think I'm probably on 6000 or more. I can't remember the exact figure. I'll check it out and let you know.

Note:

Any book lovers out there? Winter vacations will be coming soon and I'm wondering what new books to read. I'm already on Eid vacations so I'm free for a week. Somebody please post a comment and recommend some books. It'll help me make a reading list and probably know about some great writers I never heard of before.

Autumn

Autumn

Winter will Autumn greet,

For the last dance the trees will meet

They change their leaves from green to brown,

To red and yellow and gold

They will dance in the gentle breeze

All will shake and hop and flutter

The leaves will rustle and mutter

Enjoying themselves are the trees

The bird minstrels shall sing

The lovely dryads are dancing, dancing,

Dancing are the trees

Making merry in the festivities

The grasshoppers shall play the harp,

The birds shall play the flute,

The trees shall dance and shake themselves,

Even though they are mute

But right before the autumn ends,

the trees take off their clothes

And the grasshoppers, they go to sleep

The birds do stop their songs,

They all get ready to fly away,

On wings so strong and fleet,

Eyes bright, and

Heads down against the cold

When winter comes, 

The drowsy trees, tired with all their dancing,

He covers with a soft blanket of snow,

And the snowflakes softly, lovingly, kiss them 

 goodnight.

(Note: this was meant to be a free verse poem but I have added some rhyming words as well. I think it could do better with some rearranging and some deleting of some lines (probably unnecessary, but they're all  necessary to me). Give me some feedback, tell me your ideas, and I will (probably) fix or change my poem)

I sit alone. I am reading a book. It is a good book, interesting. But my mind wanders.
Again. I think of the story and wonder what it would be like to travel all over the world. To have an adventure. Just thinking about it makes me want to do it. 
Now. I sigh. It's no use. 
I put down the book and space out into a little daydream. I think about adventure and magic and the best stories I've read. Harry Potter and Percy Jackson and stories of Oz and the adventures of a bunch of normal kids. Not that Harry and Percy are normal, that is. I think of the writers, L. Frank Baum, Roald Dahl, C.S Lewis, Enid Blyton, Rick Riordan, J.K Rowling, famous, but normal people, all of them. They had creativity, and some of 'em had madness. 
Oh, that reminds me of Lewis Carroll. I want to be a writer too. I go mad (not the good way) if I don't have a book. Well, you just wait. I'll be famous, I will. I am writing stories, but they make me feel like a kid wrote them. 
Then I think about my cousins. (My train of thought is weird) 
Then about PRANK (PRactical joke Association Never to be Kaptured). 
I want to talk to them, or write a letter, cause they all live far away. Mahnoor and Laraib and Laiba are in Quetta. Izma is in Canada. Aliza's back at home. And I'm stuck here. I have an irresistible urge to talk to them. Indeed something faster than a letter. Thank goodness for advanced communication. Emails, the telephone, it's easy. I email them. All four. Plus a couple others. I don't know what to write so I type in "don't you wish......". Some writer I am. But I get replies straight away. 'I wish I had something to do' 'I wish I could travel the world' 'I wish I got first position' 'I wish my mother wouldn't put my socks where I can't find them' 'I wish my beard was made of green spinach'. I type back 'you don't have a beard silly!' Soon somehow or other we're all emailing each other. I type 'I wish we could have an adventure' to Mahnoor. But the weird thing is, I got a couple of messages from Hazo and Zeby saying exactly the same thing. Then Izma, and soon we were all wishing for it. I felt like they were all there, I front of me, saying it. It got louder and louder in my head. I clutched the desk, trying to steady myself. My vision was fuzzy. Did I have a fever? Was I sick? But the chanting got even louder, overwhelming me, making me cover my ears in desperation. I was in a huge stadium, fans chanting. Was this in my head or was it really happening? I couldn't tell. They weren't saying anything I could understand, and their chanting was making me collapse. It was too loud for me. I heard a nice voice say 'now dearie, are you sure that's what you want?' I couldn't see the person who said it, but I answered, 'what?' 
Then I fell, and my vision went black.

Note to readers

Dear readers, I need a few pranks to play on somebody. If you have any ideas, please write them down. I seriously would appreciate it. Not ‘cause  I’m being disturbed  very much and I’m desperate for something, but I’ve got a really super swizzling and extremely secret idea! (Swizzling isn’t a word and it sounds like swindling, but actually I’m using it to convey how excited I am over my idea) But I’m not telling you. Just ask. I still won’t tell you! But do write a comment and wish me luck! (My project involves my cousin too).